Hairy Home Invasion

8/4/2022

My frightening home invasion adventure – very hairy! I'm glad Bree was there to save the day.

Bree never ceases to amaze me….

From time to time, my wife has to travel for my son’s medical appointments. Occasionally, I remain at home due to work commitments.

Having time to myself these days has an extra element. A Guide Dog has no day off. Bree is very spoilt but her first mission in life is to guide me. Bree and I often have philosophical arguments relating to the extent of her guiding but overall, she complies to that rule.

On one period where my wide and the kids went to Adelaide, I was home for two days on my own. My days went normally, and I went to work as usual. On the second night, I came home with a massive headache.

After sorting out dinner, and making sure her majesty Bree was fed, I had some Panadol to get rid of the headache. You know when you take medication and you’re not thinking straight? Well, this night, I decided to have a large glass of red wine while I watched a bit of tv before bed.

Bree sleeps in the laundry. Bree sleeps in the laundry on a beautiful bed I built for her when I first got her, so she’s not half spoilt eh? She also has a mat in the loungeroom so she can join us in the evening while we’re watching tv.

This night, I completely forgot Bree was even there. Blame it on the Panadol or the glass of wine, the reality was I went to bed and left Bree in the lounge room on her mat.

Feeling unwell, I woke up around 2 in the morning when I heard someone, or something sneeze in my room. Turning on the light is futile for someone with 5% vision, so I did the next best thing. I called out “Who’s there?”

I heard a sneeze again, this time louder, then snorting. I was petrified. I called out again “Who’s there?” and then suddenly something jumped on top of me. In my hazy confusion, I truly believed someone had broken into the house and was going to kill me. The more I fought the beast on my bed, the more the beast fought back. In the back of my mind, not registering what really was happening, I thought “Gees, this guy is really hairy!”

The melee stopped when a big sloppy lick on my cheek woke me completely and I suddenly realized it was Bree all along.

So, what did I learn?

Always make sure Bree is in the laundry, tucked in her bed.