The taxi, a sneeze and an egg

What do you get when you cross a taxi, a sneeze, and an egg? A recipe for a hilarious situation, all thanks to Bree

Bree never sneezes to amaze me…

It was a dark and stormy night. The wind was howling, and the rain was falling sideways. To sum it up, it was a horrible night.
I had just finished a meeting and it was late. Rather than annoy my wife and make her go out in the cold to pick me up, I ordered a taxi. I was told over the phone there would be a twenty-minute wait.

Hiding in a small lean to of an office block, Bree and I managed to stay semi dry, until finally the taxi arrived.

Now, guide dogs are legally able to travel in taxis, as well as other public transport. As usual, she sits in the front with me, on the floor. Although there is a legal requirement for taxis and other public transport organisations to allow a guide dog to travel in their cars, I understand there are some taxi drivers who may feel uncomfortable having a dog in their car. Generally, I will disclose over the phone when ordering a taxi that I have a guide dog. This night, I didn’t.

I approached the passenger door, and the door was locked. The window was opened an inch and the taxi driver was frantically saying to me he couldn’t take me. Feeling wet and miserable, I pleaded with him. Reluctantly, he gave in, but said I had to sit in the back.

I asked him “You want me to sit in the back ......and the dog in the front?”

With more agitation, he said “No, no way. Both of you in the back.” So, we complied.

When I’m in a taxi, I try and start up a conversation with the driver. I’ve met some wonderful taxi drivers over the years, listening to their stories. This night, the taxi driver was not moving an inch. He sat as close to the steering wheel as possible, refusing to look at me, and especially at Bree.

We went along, and the rain got heavier. The windscreen was all misted and I had no idea where this guy was taking us. We turned a corner, and then suddenly Bree did an explosive sneeze. I will just digress here. When Bree sneezes, it’s very loud and shocking. If you’re not expecting it, it can be a little scary.

Anyway, back to the story. A second after she sneezed, the taxi driver made a noise which reminded me of a chicken laying an egg. I asked him if he was ok. With an octave higher, the taxi driver said he was ok.

We eventually made it home. I paid the fare, and the taxi driver didn’t look at us for the whole time. Within a second of jumping out and closing the door of the car, he was off like a bat out of hell.
 
So, what did I learn?
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Best to notify when booking a taxi, I have a guide dog. Might save someone crapping themselves.

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